I had some alone time this weekend, and was feeling quite nostalgic.
We cannot turn back time but if we could, who would we talk to one last time?
There are many people who have come and gone in my life. Friends, family, family friends, teachers/mentors, you name it, they've been there. Some were my age, some younger, and some much older. Some were there for a long period of time, and one day they just grow distant. Others were there for a short period, but still made an impact. At the time you think you'll keep in touch with people forever, and that's simply not the case. People move, go to college, get married, or are just in a different life stage than you.
If there is one thing I want to say to these people no matter how big or small their impact on my life was, it is this:
You walked into my life at a time when you were supposed to be there. Even to the ones that ended on a sour note, I want to say thanks for being a part of my life anyway. There are so many people that this message could apply to, and if you think you are one of them you probably are.
No matter how hard we try, there are some things we can't keep a hold of. Some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever, and that's okay. They are passing through. They give us blessings, lessons, and gifts no matter how long their stay is.
I'm only 21 years old, and there's a very long list of people whom I've lost touch with.
Time goes by so quickly!
Know that if you are on that list, I still think about you, and cherish the time we had. Even going back to my playground days. :)
Love you all. Happy Monday!
I just finished the Netflix Original Series Making a Murderer this week and let me tell you, this show is BRILLIANT. I have never watched a documentary that was more beautifully done. Netflix nailed it. Bravo Netflix, bravo.
Let me start off with telling you that regardless of my opinions on anything, I realize this show was made to be very one sided. The people who created this show wanted Steven Avery's story to be heard, so naturally they did leave a few things out. No matter what I think of Steven Avery's verdict, I think that Brenden Dassey is innocent. There isn't a doubt in my mind. I think a big reason he was convicted guilty on all three charges, was based on Steven Avery's guilty verdict. The kid wasn't given a fair chance.
Brenden Dassey at the time was a 16 year old boy with very limited cognitive abilities. We must remember that regardless of what people think of him, he DOES NOT think logically like most people. He was 3 IQ points shy of mental retardation at the time. That video of his confession shows that he was telling those detectives what they wanted to hear. He thought he was just confirming a story, and he would be going back to school right after. Sometimes he didn't even know what came next in their "story". You hear them ask questions repeatedly like, "What happened next Brenden? Tell the truth. Don't lie this time." repeatedly. "Okay Brenden, what happened to her head? Don't lie." They were trying to convince the kid that he wasn't telling the truth! When they wouldn't get an answer they wanted to hear, they would say it for him. "Who shot her Brenden?" Naturally, he said "He did."
Not only was this confession coearsed, but the story doesn't match up with any evidence found whatsoever. You cannot tell me that when someone's throat is cut that there wasn't one trace of blood found anywhere in that room, on the mattress, or the garage. It just isn't possible to clean that much blood.
As for my thoughts with Steven Avery, I'm leaning towards innocent also. A man who got released from prison after 18 years for a crime he didn't commit, was about to get a huge sum of money, goes out and kills a random girl on his property? It just doesn't make any sense. If you throw Dassey's story out, there isn't really a whole lot of evidence that proves him guilty. We also have to remember the way our justice system is supposed to work. You must know without a shadow of a doubt that a person is guilty, to give them a guilty verdict. If there is even a glimpse of doubt, they are innocent until proven guilty. Between the prosecutors, judge, and the police department, everyone had a guilty verdict already in their minds before the trial even started.
Let's not forget the jurors as well. When they sat in that room for the first 4 hours of deliberations and took a vote, there were 7 votes for not guilty, 3 for guilty, and 2 undecided. That's a pretty significant swing to change 7 votes to guilty. Those jurors that changed their minds probably weren't very strongly opinionated people, were tired, and just wanted to go home. When you think about the final verdict, the 3 counts don't add up. You can't tell me someone is guilty of murder in the first degree, but is innocent of mutilation of a body. That sounds like a compromise in the jury room to me.
Steven Avery MIGHT have done it. But "might" is not enough to put a man in prison for life in my opinion, especially a second time. It would almost be easier to believe he is guilty, because the thought of putting a man in prison twice for 2 crimes he didn't commit is too sad to bear. If new evidence is found that he is not guilty, the state of Wisconsin's reputation will be ruined forever. I hope they have some luck finding more clarity on the situation.
At the end of the day, these thoughts are only my opinion. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the whole thing. This show really makes you think. It definitely kept me up at night! If you have any fun theories or articles about it, please comment below! Whether they are creditable or not, I love reading them!
Here's a few of my favorite theories/new findings:
- Number 1
- Number 2
- Number 3
Thanks for reading! XOXO
Dear 16 year old self,
I want to start off this letter by saying one thing.
Life does not go how you plan or imagine it. Whatever you picture your life to be in the future, do yourself the a favor and stop. It won't turn out that way, and in your case that's probably a good thing. It is when we have expectations that something should be a certain way that we get let down. That is the number one lesson I have learned.
Know in your heart that whatever you are feeling right now will come to an end. You have had your heart broken by both family, and friends...it probably won't be the last time either. Although you may not see it, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will lose people, and you will gain others. You WILL be happier than you ever thought possible.
Embrace all of those football games and nights out with friends. Those nights don't last forever, and come to a screeching halt when you work a full time job.
Not reacting at all to the people who hurt you will save you so much heartache. It's an amazing feeling when you figure this one out. How beautiful is it to stay silent when someone expects you to be enraged? Have the courage to stick up for yourself when needed. Stop worrying about hurting other people's feelings so much, and worry about YOUR feelings.
Last, don't take anything for granted. Be present when spending time with the people you love. Never let a day go by where people don't feel you care.
Something I want you to take away from this letter is that I have made it, and you will get there. Your story is just beginning, and it will go on.
Your 21 year old self.
Well hello my beautiful people! I have returned to the blog!
It has been a fantastic, but busy break for me from the blog. I was able to enjoy the reason for the season in December, and really spend some quality time with my family and friends. However, I'm ready to return! What better day to return than on New Year's Eve?
Every year, it's incredible to see how resilient we are. With each new year there's challenges we must overcome. The ending of one year leads to the beginning of a new one, and I find it fascinating that people make goals that the new year will be better than the last. It's the one time of year that we have hope.
I'm not one to do specific New Year's resolutions, but I do try to have a main focus for that year and stick to it. My focus in 2015 was to live a more minimalistic life by being happy with what I already have, and get rid of the junk. Not only with material things, but with people, and thoughts. If it didn't truly bring me joy, why have it? This is the first year I feel 100% successful with my focus. It took a lot of courage and work, but I've never been happier.
My goal for 2016 is to really focus on my career and my finances. Now that I'm finished with school and have established a full time career, I am going to work hard next year to take off in that department. I can now focus on building up my clientele for Esthetics, while expanding my business. I also want to focus on paying my debts, and getting a decent savings built up now that both Gage and I are both working full time! Oh, and I'll focus on our wedding of course! ;)
I have had such a fantastic year, and hope all of you feel the same. There's always room for improvement for the next year, and that is what's so great about it! Have a safe holiday, and I will see you all soon.
Can you believe November is over? 30 Days of Gratitude have flown by and I made it through to the end! I am not very good at having the discipline to finish challenges like this, so I'm proud of myself for finishing it out.
The one question remains....Did this challenge change you?
Yes. Absolutely. 100%.
Although it was tough, I can truly see a more positive attitude in me. 30 days of intentionally being grateful can do wonders on the negative brain (aka mine). It has helped me realize when I'm being negative/ungrateful. It has shown me when I need to change my mindset. I feel like I'm heading in the right direction!
What does this mean for the blog?
30 days of blogging straight was tough. I'm going to take a little break for a while, and enjoy the holidays with my family and hubbs. I don't have a set amount of time for how long this break will be, but just when the time feels right. I'm so happy that I did this challenge. The one thing I noticed about blogging for 30 days straight is that there were days where it felt forced. I'm sure you noticed as the reader, too. I will come back to blogging with some fresh, new ideas that feel natural again.
If you missed any of my posts, they can be found here.
For those of you who want to give my 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge, I'll leave it down below!
30 Days of Gratitude:
1. Why Start This Challenge?
2. Spouse/Significant Other
3. A Friend
4. A Challenge You've Overcome
5. 5 Things You Like About You
6. Someone Who Inspires You
7. Something You Take For Granted
8. The Weather
9. Something You Use Every Day
10. Favorite Physical Trait
11. A Book You Learned From
12. The City You Live In
13. Your Past
14. Your Favorite Memory
15. Core Values
16. Something You Look Forward To
17. Music You Love
18. Greatest Accomplishment
20. A Mentor
21. Opportunities You've Been Given
23. Something You Like About Every Season
24. Favorite Spot In Your City
25. Favorite Personality Trait
26. Simple Things In Life
27. Something Someone Gave You
28. Lessons Learned This Year
29. 100 Things to be Thankful For
30. Did This Challenge Change You?
Thank you for reading! Until next time...Whenever that may be! Happy holidays everyone!
There are SO many things to be thankful for! I think we all need to remind ourselves of this. 100 things is a lot of things, but I'm sure I can find that many to be thankful for! In no particular order, here they are:
1. My best friend, is also my love.
2. I'm so close with my family.
2. The roof over my head.
3. The food in my belly.
4. I am employed.
5. Amazon Prime
6. My Keurig.
7. I have clothes to wear.
8. The skill to make people look and feel beautiful.
9. Books (endless entertainment).
10. Clean water.
11. The internet.
12. Southern Utah's beauty.
13. Living in a safe, clean town.
16. TJ Maxx
17. I can afford a phone, a tv, and internet. Some don't have that luxury.
18. My faith in the Lord.
19. The Lord's faith in me.
20. My struggles I've overcome.
21. The time I was able to spend with my Grandma
22. My life coach (AKA Dad)
25. My friends.
26. I work in an amazing work environment.
27. The stars
29. Just any pet actually.
30. My siblings
31. I'm an American.
32. Ability to get an education.
35. The beauty industry
37. My bed
39. Warm, fuzzy blankets
40. EOS lip balm
41. The second amendment
45. Scented Candles
47. Date nights
48. Other's generosity
49. My car.
50. The clouds
51. My health
52. The kind people of Utah
55. The things I've accomplished so far.
56. My experiences
58. Leggings and sweatpants
63. Game nights
66. Warm water
67. Late night conversations
68. My journal
72. The UPS men
73. Football (I think Gage is more grateful for this if anything...)
74. Random Acts of Kindness
75. The art of dancing
77. Lots of trees
78. Home decor
79. My patience
80. My many, many pairs of shoes
84. What it means to be in love
88. Alone time
90. The past, present, and future
91. My blonde hair
92. Road trips
93. Caffeine in the mornings
94. My caring heart
95. My ambition
96. The people who fight for our freedom.
97. My love for writing/journaling
98. Texas Roadhouse
99. I'm about to marry the man of my dreams.
100. My readers. Without you I wouldn't be here writing!
Wow! That was harder than I thought it would be. It made me realize how much I take things for granted. The things I really am grateful for, are often times forgotten about because they are just there every day. Once you get the ball rolling, it gets easier as you go along. I hope this will inspire you to make a list of your own, and begin practicing more gratitude.
Thanks for reading!
If there is one thing that I know about my life, it is that I am learning.
Every day I continue to find myself and grow into the person I want to be. Some of the things I've learned this year would have been foreign to me a year ago, and I'll probably say the same thing next year. That's the greatest part about life. You can reflect. You can learn.
Here's a few of my own lessons I have learned from this year.
1. It's okay to speak up.
When I was younger, I was scared to have a voice. I always hated confrontation (still do), and unfortunately that resulted in a lot of people pleasing. I have come to learn that the only way to get what I want is to ask for it. People aren't mind readers, and I am certainly not a doormat!
2. Always give 100% of your 50%:
This might not make sense right away, but bear with me. Every relationship you have must be a 50/50 ratio for what you each put into it. With that being said, you both have to give 100% of your 50%. If one person is doing their part and the other isn't, it simply won't work. This isn't just in romantic relationships, but in friendships too.
3. Stop making people feel bad for doing what makes them happy:
This one is pretty self explanatory. People are mean. Stop judging people. If they are happy, it's none of your business.
4. Stop feeling guilty for doing things that make YOU happy:
This goes hand in hand with the last one. If it makes you happy, who cares what everyone else thinks about it? If it's a person, a job, a lifestyle, or whatever it may be making you unhappy, by all means stop. Life is way too short not to enjoy it.
5. Don't sweat the small stuff:
Ask yourself this question every time you get upset: "Am I going to be upset about this in a week/month/year?". If the answer is no, then let it go. It's not worth getting worked up over.
We are the biggest teachers to ourselves. Nobody knows us better than we do, and we are always continually learning. I'm grateful for these lessons I've learned, and am excited to see what I learn next.
Thanks for reading!
I want to talk about something my Gram gave me. She gave me a lot of things, but the things that aren't tangible are the things I'll keep forever.
1. She Gave Me Hope:
Whenever everything was falling apart, she somehow remained so optimistic and just kept going (cracking jokes even). She beat all of the odds and fought cancer for a year, when the prognosis wasn't close to that. She had this light in her that will continue to shine even now that she's gone.
2. She Gave Me Forgiveness:
My Gram was single handedly the most forgiving, Christ-like person I've ever known. Even when someone least deserved it, she still found it in her heart to forgive.
3. She Gave Me Kindness And Generosity:
She would give you a quarter in her wallet if it was the last quarter she had. In her eyes, there was always someone who needed it more than she did. My Gram didn't have a mean bone in her body!
4. She Gave Me Strength:
Even before the cancer, that woman went through hell and back. She always pushed through on top. She was one of the strongest people I knew, and I know a lot of my strength came from her.
Of all of the material things she ever gave me, these are the things of hers I will hold near my heart forever. There are so many lives that she touched. Her light will always shine on. Love and miss you every day Gram. ❤
Thanks for reading.
I hope everybody had a very happy Thanksgiving! I know I sure did. My heart and my belly are so full! As we gathered around the turkey and expressed thanks, it made me realize something. It really doesn't take much to make me happy, as it shouldn't. It really is the simple things in life that make my heart full.
There is nothing I love more than to spend quality time with my family and friends. We don't even have to be doing anything but enjoying each other's company. If there's one thing I know for sure, I will never be able to live super far away from my family. Life is too short and precious not to spend time with your family. And at the end of the day when no one else is there, family is all you've got!
Sometimes the simple things in life are the most important. We all get busy (especially during the holidays), and it's important to take a step back and remind ourselves what really matters. Quality time with my people matters, and that is something that will never change!
Love you all! Thanks for reading.
Today I'm going to talk about my favorite personality trait. Not necessarily in myself, but just a personality trait I like in general.
Selfishness is such a common thing among us these days. There are so many things we all take for granted. Having the ability to connect with people on an emotional level is a gift. Having an empathetic personality is something I look for in a person who wants to be in my life. I feel as though empathy is such a hard thing to come by now, because there are a lot of people who mistake self love for selfishness. To love yourself and care for others is one thing, but to love yourself and only yourself is quite another.
What are some of your favorite personality traits? Besides empathy, the ability to make me laugh is a close second. :)
Thank you for reading! Have a very Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!